NONSENSE FROM THE BIBLE Read online

  Now we have the body of Jesus in the tomb - the sepulchre - then just before dawn on Sunday, Mary Magdalene and Mary the mother of James (& Jesus) went to see the sepulchre, according to Matthew’s version.

  Version: 1.

  Matthew 28:1-9

  In the end of the Sabbath, as it began to dawn toward the first day of the week, came Mary Magdalene and the other Mary to see the sepulchre. And there was a great earthquake: for the angel of the Lord descended from heaven and came and rolled back the stone from the door, and sat upon it. His countenance was like lightning, and his raiment white as snow: And for fear of him the keepers did shake, and become as dead men. And the angel answered and said unto the women, Fear not ye: for I know that ye seek Jesus, which was crucified. He is not here: for he is risen, as he said. Come see the place where the Lord lay. And go quickly, and tell his disciples that he is risen from the dead; and, behold, he goeth before you into Galilee: there shall ye see him: lo, I have told you. And they departed quickly from the sepulchre with fear and great joy; and did run to bring his disciples the word. And as they went to tell his disciples, behold Jesus met them, saying, All hail. And they came and held him by the feet, and worshipped him.

  Matthew 28:11-15

  Now when they were going, behold, some of the watch came into the city, and shewed unto the chief priests all the things that were done. And when they were assembled with the elders, and had taken counsel, they gave large sums of money unto the soldiers, saying, say ye, His disciples came by night, and stole him away while we slept. And if this come to the governor’s ears, we will persuade him, and secure you. So they took the money, and did as they were taught: and this saying is commonly reported among the Jews until this day.

  Version: 2.

  Mark 16:1-12

  And when the Sabbath was past, Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James, and Salome, had bought sweet spices, that they might anoint him. And very early in the morning the first day of the week, they came unto the sepulchre at the rising of the sun. And they said among themselves,who shall roll us away the stone from the door of the sepulchre? And when they looked, they saw that the stone was rolled away: for it was very great. And entering into the sepulchre, they saw a young man sitting on the right side, clothed in a long white garment; and they were affrighted. And he saith unto them, be not affrighted: Ye seek Jesus of Nazareth, which was crucified: he is risen; he is not here: behold the place where they laid him. But go your way, tell his disciples and Peter that he goeth before you into Galilee: there shall ye see him, as he said unto you. And they went out quickly, and fled from the sepulchre; for they trembled and were amazed: neither said they anything to any man; for they were afraid. Now when Jesus was risen the first day of the week, he appeared first to Mary Magdalene, out of whom he had cast seven devils, And she went and told them that had been with him, as they mourned and wept. And they, when they had heard that he was alive, and been seen of her, believed not. After that he appeared in another form unto two of them, as they walked, and went into the country.

  Version: 3.

  Luke 24: 1-15

  Now upon the first day of the week, very early in the morning, they* came unto the sepulchre, bringing spices which they had prepared and certain others with them. And they found the stone rolled away from the sepulchre. And they entered in, and found not the body of the Lord Jesus. And it came to pass, as they were much perplexed thereabout, behold, two men stood by them in shining garments: And as they were afraid, and bowed down their faces to the earth, they said unto them, Why seek ye the living among the dead? He is not here, but is risen: remember how he spake unto you when he was yet in Galilee, Saying, the Son of man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men, and be crucified, and the third day rise again. And they remembered his words, and returned from the sepulchre, and told all these things unto the eleven, and to all the rest. It was Mary Magdalene, and Joanna, and Mary the mother of James, and the other women that were with them, which told these things unto the apostles. And their words seemed to them as idle tales, and they believed them not. Then arose Peter, and ran unto the sepulchre; and stooping down, he beheld the linen clothes laid by themselves, and departed, wondering in himself at that which was come to pass. And, behold, two of them went the same day to a village called Emmaus, which was from Jerusalem about threescore furlongs. And they talked together of all these things which had happened. And it came to pass, that, while they communed together and reasoned, Jesus himself drew near, and went with them.

  *The last verses of the previous chapter refer to the ‘women’

  Version: 4.

  John 20:1-18

  The first day of the week cometh Mary Magdalene early, when it was yet dark, unto the sepulchre, and seeth the stone taken away from the sepulchre, then she runneth, and commeth to SimonPeter, and to the other disciple, whom Jesus loved, and saith unto them, They have taken away the Lord out of the sepulchre, and we know not where they have laid him. Peter therefore went forth, and that other disciple, and came to the sepulchre. So they ran both together: and the other disciple did outrun Peter, and came first to the sepulchre. And stooping down, and looking in, saw the linen clothes lying; yet went he not in. Then cometh Simon Peter following him, and went into the sepulchre, and seeth the linen clothes lie. And the napkin, that was about his head, not lying with the linen clothes, but wrapped together in a place by itself. Then went in that other disciple, which came first to the sepulchre, and he saw, and believed. For as yet they knew not the scripture, that he must rise again from the dead. then the disciples went away again unto their own home. But Mary stood without at the sepulchre weeping: and as she wept, she stooped down, and looked into the sepulchre, and seeth two angels in white sitting, the one at the head, and the other at the feet, where the body of Jesus had lain. And they say unto her, woman, why weepest thou? She saith unto them, Because they have taken away my Lord, and I know not where they have laid him. And when she had thus said, she turned herself back, and saw Jesus standing, and knew not that it was Jesus. Jesus saith unto her, woman, why weepest thou? whom seekest thou? She, supposing him to be the gardener saith unto him, Sir, if thou have borne him hence, tell me where thou hast laid him, and I will take him away. Jesus saith unto her, Mary. She turned herself, and saith unto him, Rabboni: which is to say, Master. Jesus saith unto her, Touch me not; for I am not yet ascended to my Father: but go to my brethren, and say unto them, I ascend unto my Father, and your Father; and to my God, and your God. Mary Magdalene came and told the disciples that she had seen the Lord, and that he had spoken these things unto her.

  FOUR VERSIONS

  WHICH - IF ANY - SHOULD WE BELIEVE?

  Version: 1

  Were there soldiers guarding the sepulchre?

  Yes - several but it’s not mentioned how many

  Who went to the sepulchre?

  Mary Magdalene and the other Mary visit the sepulchre

  What happened?

  There was - a great earthquake

  The angel of the Lord descended from heaven and rolled away the stone from the door and sat upon it.

  His countenance was like lightening, and his raiment white as snow

  Who first met Jesus? How and where?

  As the two Marys went to tell his disciples, Jesus met them, saying, All hail. And they came and held him by the feet, and worshipped him.

  Version: 2

  Were there soldiers guarding the sepulchre?

  None mentioned

  Who went to the sepulchre?

  Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James, and Salome. They had brought sweet spices, that they might anoint him.

  What happened?

  They saw that the stone had been rolled away.

  As they entered the sepulchre, they saw a young man sitting on the right side, clothed in a long white garment.

  Who first met Jesus? How and where?

  When Jesus was risen on the first day of the week he appeared first to Mary Magdalene.r />
  Version: 3

  Were there soldiers guarding the sepulchre?

  None mentioned

  Who went to the sepulchre?

  Early in the morning, they* came unto the sepulchre, bringing spices which they had prepared and certain others with them - bringing spices which they had prepared.

  * ‘they’ - the previous chapter refers to ‘the women.’

  What happened?

  They found the stone rolled away from the sepulchre. They entered the sepulchre and Jesus had gone. Then they saw two men standing by them in shining garments:

  The women, later identified as Mary Magdalene, and Joanna, and Mary the mother of James, and the other women that were with them - all went to tell the disciples what had happened at the sepulchre The disciples were sceptical about their story so Peter then ran to the sepulchre and found only the linen grave clothes.

  Who first met Jesus? How and where?

  Later ‘two of them’ (not named) went to a village called Emmaus outside of Jerusalem and as they were talking together about what had happened that day Jesus joined them and they walked together.

  Version: 4.

  Were there soldiers guarding the sepulchre?

  None mentioned

  Who went to the sepulchre?

  Before dawn early in the morning Mary Magdalene went to the sepulchre and found that the stone had been rolled away.

  What happened?

  Without entering the sepulchre she ran to find Simon Peter and the other disciple whom Jesus loved - this was possibly John.

  Peter and the other disciple then ran to the sepulchre. The ‘other’ disciple was the first to arrive and looked into the sepulchre and saw the linen grave clothes lying there. Peter then arrived and went in and saw only the linen clothes - And the napkin, that was about his head not lying with the linen clothes, but wrapped together in a place by itself

  The disciples then left and went to their homes. Mary Magdalene stood outside the sepulchre weeping. Then she looked into the sepulchre and saw two angels in white sitting where Jesus had lain.

  Who first met Jesus? How and where?

  The angels spoke to her and then she saw Jesus, but she thought he must be the gardener. She asked him where he had taken the body of Jesus and then Jesus called her by name Mary and she turned and recognised him and said Rabboni - meaning Master. Jesus then said: don’t touch me as I have not yet ascended to my Father. He then told her to go and tell the disciples that she had seen him, which she did.

  Note: He allowed the two Marys to hold his feet (version 1)

  We also have the words of Paul according to the book of the Acts of the Apostles to consider, especially as he was converted to Christianity well after the time of the alleged crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus. This conversion is generally believed to have been circa 33-36CE. Paul was previously known as Saul of Tarsus and was a Pharisee who rigorously persecuted the Christians until, it is alleged, he was dramatically confronted by Jesus on the road to Damascus:

  Acts 9:3-5

  And as he journeyed, he came near Damascus: and suddenly there shined round about him a light from heaven. And he fell to the earth, and heard a voice saying unto him, Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou me? And he said, who art thou, Lord? And the Lord said I am Jesus whom you thou persecutest:

  We have the writings of Paul concerning the ‘Resurrection.’ These, according to an overwhelming majority of New Testament scholars, pre-date all the four Gospels which were written as late as 60-70CE. Again there are more discrepancies concerning these events to consider.

  1 Corinthians 15:3-8

  For I delivered unto you first of all that which I received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures: And that he was seen of Cephas, then of the twelve: After that, he was seen of above five hundred brethren at once; of whom the greater part remain unto this present, but some have fallen asleep. After that, he was seen of James; then of all. And last of all he was seen of me also, as of one born out of due time.

  Paul makes no mention of any soldiers guarding the tomb or of the happenings at the sepulchre or that the tomb was empty or that Jesus appeared first to either Mary Magdalene or Mary mother of Jesus and of James. Instead he adds to those who witnessed seeing the resurrected Jesus - Five hundred followers of Jesus - then, after that he was seen by James and then by all. And after that, last of all by Paul.

  Wow! 500 people in Jerusalem saw the resurrected Jesus!

  IF that had actually occurred, then again there would have been many documents still existing about this great happening. As I have already mentioned, had the events which the Bible records occurred at the time of the crucifixion, they would have been huge news throughout the entire region and there would be countless volumes of evidence and reports of these happenings.

  There were numerous historians at this time and none mentioned any of the extraordinary events, which allegedly occurred during the life and death of Jesus. There are no reports of his so called miracles, healing the sick, raising the dead, feeding the five thousand or walking on water! There are no historical documents containing evidence about this man called Jesus and his ‘triumphant’ entry into Jerusalem just a few days before his ‘trial’ and then his suffering leading to and during the crucifixion and his death on the cross and no mention of his resurrection.

  Why have none been found?

  The controversy about the validity of the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus continues to the present time. There are numerous opinions and theories to be found in books and now also on the Internet; they persist as there is hardly any scientific, historic or factual evidence concerning these events any more than for the rest of the Bible.

  It is therefore reasonable to conclude that the entire episode originates from myths and legend rather than from true and accurate information from any source. The descriptions of the events in the New Testament of the Bible greatly lack integrity as they were all written, based on verbal accounts given and repeated over many years, by numerous people. There is no evidence that any of the critical major events were written by those who were eyewitnesses to those events. Very little of the content of the Old Testament can be claimed to have been written by anyone who actually witnessed the reported events.

  IF Jesus was crucified as described in the Bible there are many flaws in the story:

  As I have previously mentioned, the Bible says that he was crucified between two thieves. Historically, there are no records that the Romans crucified thieves. Crucifixion was reserved only for heinous crimes, notably treason against the State. The bodies of those crucified were left on the cross to rot or to be devoured gradually by birds and animals. This was usual practice by the Romans as it was an important warning to others who might offend. The ability of Joseph of Arimathaea to persuade Pontius Pilate the Governor to allow the body to be removed was unusual if not unlikely.

  The ‘guards’ - soldiers at the tomb, were only mentioned in Matthew. If they were ‘on duty’ and guarding the tomb they may have slept during part of the night, which would enable the disciples to open the sepulcher and remove the body. This was suggested by the chief priests as the explanation the guards might give as to why the tomb was empty; and that they were bribed to tell everyone that is what had happened. But it’s hardly likely that the disciples could count on the guards sleeping at all, let alone so soundly as to be unaware of the activity necessary to remove the body. In any case would soldiers admit to falling asleep on duty? And, importantly, if the soldiers did remain awake they would have witnessed the alleged amazing events, and said so, perhaps to the point of becoming believers.

  So, either way, even the opening gambit of the resurrection story raises questions.

  It is also very possible that Joseph of Arimathaea who owned the tomb which was conveniently close by*13, offered it only as a temporary place for the body. It was almost nigh
tfall when the body of Jesus was removed from the cross and Jewish law and custom maintained that a body must be buried before sundown and, as it was Friday, sundown was the beginning of the Sabbath. Joseph then could have removed the body later during the night before dawn and buried it in common ground which was the usual practice for the burial of criminals.

  Deuteronomy 21:23-23

  And if a man have committed a sin worthy of death, and he be to be put to death, and thou hang him on a tree: His body shall not remain all night upon the tree: His body shall not remain all night upon the tree, but thou shalt in any wise bury him that day; for he that is hanged is accursed of God; that thy land be not defiled, which the Lord thy God hath giveth thee for an inheritance.

  The above reference is concerning Jewish law rather than the Roman practice of leaving the body hanging on the cross.

  So - what about the reported sighting of the resurrected Jesus?

  We should remember that if these events happened as described in the Bible, this was a time of great emotion for all involved. The disciples and followers of Jesus were not in fact prepared for him to actually die upon the cross.